Naruto Blond Jokes
by Mikomi Hatake
Summary: Naruto and Ino are blond, so why not tell some blond jokes about them. Poor Naruto I don't like to make fun of you, but it is just way to easy.
1. Naruto Blond Jokes!

Naruto Blond Jokes

By Ed the Hacker  
I got really bored and took my favorite blond jokes and put Naruto caracters in them (Naruto and Ino)  
  
Naruto and Ino were sitting down by the bridge waiting for both their teams to show up when Naruto saked  
"Which is further, London or the Moon?"   
"HELLOOOOO, can you see London from here?????!!!!!" Ino replied

Sasuke entered a bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to Ino. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulgingpockets.  
  
Finally, after many such glances from her, Sasuke said, "It's golf balls".  
  
Nevertheless, Ino continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asks, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"Ino went to eletronics store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?"   
The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."   
The next day Ino came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."   
The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blondes."   
Ino replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?"   
"Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave."One day, Naruto was at home putting together a puzzle. He was really stumped and very frustrated, so he decided to ask his friend, Sasuke for help.   
  
''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' Naruto cried.   
  
''Baka," said Sasuke, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!''Ino and Naruto were on opposite sides of a lake.   
Ino yelled to Naruto, "How do you get to the other side?"   
"You are on the other side," Naruto yelled back.Ino was going to Disneyland when she came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."   
So she went home.Naruto and Itachi are out driving, and Itachi tells the blonde boy to look out for cops, especially cops with their lights on. After they've been driving for a while, Itachi asks Naruto if he's seen any cops.   
"Yes," says the blonde boy.   
"Are their lights on?"   
Naruto had to think for a moment, then said, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."One day Ino was cooking, when her mom walked in the kitchen she saw M&M shells all over the floor.  
"What in heavens name are you doing Ino!?"'  
"Making chocolate chip cookies."Naruto and Hinata were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, Hinata started having contractions, so Naruto rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.   
Naruto turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?!"One day, Ino's neighbor, Sakura goes over to her house, sees her crying, and asks her what happened. Ino said that her mother had passed away. Sakura made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day Sakura went back over to the house and found the Ino crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time.   
''I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!''Naruto, Sakura, and Sasukeare driving in a pick-up truck. Sakura was sitting up front with Sasuke, Naruto was in the back. While driving across a bridge Sasuke lost control of the truck and drove over the side of the bridge. After the truck had sunk,Sasuke and Sakura fought their way out of the cab and surfaced. A couple of minutes later Naruto came out of the water, panting and breathless.   
''Where have you been?'' asked Sasuke  
''I can't believe you left me down there! I couldn't get the tailgate open!''Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three people, each would get one wish.   
Sasuke went first. ''I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!''   
"Okay,'' replied the genie. And off he went.   
Then Sakura went. ''I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!!''   
And off she went.   
Naruto started crying and said, ''I'm lonely, I wish my friends were back here!'' 


	2. More Naruto Blond Jokes!

More Naruto Blond Jokes  
By Ed the Hacker  
  
Ino once went to the library to get a book. A few days later, Ino returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so I would like to return it."   
The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"   
  
Ino was driving along a country road, listening to the radio. The D.J. was telling blonde jokes one after the other, and she got extremly pissed off and turned of the radio.   
She continued down the road, and in a field she saw Naruto in a canoe trying to row across the field. She stopped and got out of the car, and yelled across to the blond boy, "It's Blondes like you who make everyone think I'm stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there and give you a piece of my mind!"   
  
Sasuke took his girlfriend, Ino, to the movies. During the pre-views, she asked him if he would go and buy her some M & Ms.   
When Sasuke returned with her candy, Ino opened the bag, picked out all the brown ones and threw them away.   
"What did you do that for?" Sasuke asked her.   
"I'm allergic to chocolate!" Ino replied.   
  
Naruto and Ino have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days 61 days!"   
The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?"   
Naruto answered, "Because the box said 3-6- years!"   
  
There was a competition to cross the water doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a Ino, Sakura and female Naruto.   
After approximately 14 hours, Ino staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, Sakura crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher. Nearly 4 hours after that, female Naruto finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.   
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, Naruto replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."   
  
Inu and Naruto were in the field one fine summer day. While following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks. "Look! a pair of tracks" Naruto said while pointing to the ground.   
"Those are deer tracks," Ino replied.   
"Oh no," Naruto said, "Those are definitely moose tracks."   
With this, they began to argue. In fact, they were still arguing when the train hit them.   
  
Naruto is trapped on an island. So he learns how to swim and decides to go swim to shore. When he was only 1/3 away from shore, he swam back, complaining that he was too tired.  
  
Ino was headed to the land of Waves. She got on the plane and sat down in first class.   
A few minutes later, a flight attendent came up to her and told her that her ticket was for coach and she had to move from the seat. Ino refused. The flight attendent was persistant, but Ino replied, "No, I want to sit here, I've always wanted to see what it is like in first class."   
The flight attendent was getting frustrated. Finally, after quite some time, she convinced her to move.   
Sasuke who overheard the conversation asked the attendent, "How did you get her to move?"   
The flight attendent replied, "I told her that first class doesn't stop in Detroit."   
  
Naruto, Ino, and Sakura (pretend that shes blond for just a moment) died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them before they could enter Heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was.   
Sakura said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."   
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.   
Ino said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts."   
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.   
Naruto said, he knew what Easter is, and St. Peter said,"So, tell me."   
Naruto said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder....   
St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."   
"Then," the blonde boy continued, "now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball."   
St. Peter fainted...   
  



	3. Even More Naruto Blond Jokes!

**Naruto Blond Jokes**

Poor Naruto, you know we love you.

Disclaimer: Nope I don't own Naruto

.

Naruto goes to an ninja party and wins a thermos.

Naruto asks Sasuke, "What does it do?" Sasuke says it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.

The next day Naruto goes to train after filling his thermos with ice cream and tea.

Naruto is walking down the street and Sasuke walked up next to him.

Sasuke says to the blond boy, ''What do you have in the bag?''

The blonde replies: ''I have chickens!''

Sasuke thinks for a moment and says, ''If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?''

Naruto thinks that it sounds fair and replies, ''Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"

Ino came home from school one day and said to her mom, ''I can count higher then all the kids in my second grade class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?''

Her mother replied, ''Of couse it is, dear.''

The next day, Ino said, ''I can say the alphabet higher then anyone in my class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?''

Her mother replied, ''Of course it is dear!''

The next day Ino came home from her gymnastics and asked her mother, ''I have a larger chest then all the kids in my class, do you think its because I am a blonde?''

Her mother replied, ''No dear, I think it is because you are eighteen years old."

Ino went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off. "How did this happen?" the doctor asked. "Well I was trying to commit suicide," Ino replied. "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?" "No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, 'I just paid $6,000 for these,' then I put it in my mouth and I thought, 'I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth fixed.' So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, 'this is going to make a loud noise,' so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger."

Naruto, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire himself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. He went to the front door of Kakashi's house and asked if he had any jobs for him to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

The blonde boy said, "How about 50 dollars?" Kakashi agreed and told him that the paint and ladders that he might need were in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect his money.

"You're finished already?" he asked.

"Yes," Naruto answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, Kakashi reached in his pocket for the $50.

"And by the way," Naruto added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura are on a dangerous mission when they find an old barn to hide out in. The hunter-nins are close on their tails, so when they find three sacks, they immediately jump into them. About a minute later, a Hunter-nin comes into the barn and sees the suspicious-looking sacks. He kicks the first one.

"Meow," says Sakura.

"It must be a cat," thinks the hunter and he kicks the second sack.

"Woof," says Sasuke.

"Must be a dog," thinks the hunter and he kicks the third sack.

"Potatoes," says Naruto.

Naruto and Ino are walking down the street when one of them looks down and finds a mirror.

Ino picks it up, looks into it, and says, "WOW! I know this person. I've seen this person somewhere before..."

Naruto takes the mirror, looks into it, and says, "Duh, of course you have. That's me!"

Naruto wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right tools, he headed toward the nearest frozen lake. After getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in the ice. Then from the heavens a voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''

Startled, Naruto moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet another hole in the ice. The voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''

This time quite scared, the blonde boy moved to the far end of the ice. Then he started another hole and once again the voice said, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''

The very scared Naruto raised him head and said, ''Is that you, Lord?'' The voice answered, ''NO. IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK.''

Sasuke and Sakura were traveling through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, Sasuke asked the Naruto, ''Before we order could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly.'' Naruto leaned over and said ''Burrrrrrr Gurrrrrr Kingggg.''

Naruto had two horses, but he couldn't tell them apart. So he asked his neighbor, Sasuke for advice. He suggested that he cut the tail off one of the horses. This worked until the other horse snagged his tail on a fence. Sauke neighbor suggested notching one of the horses' ear. This worked until the other horse snagged his ear on a fence. So Sasuke suggested measuring the heights of the horses. And sure enough, the white horse was two inches taller than the black horse.

Weee, More stupid and usless jokes.

PeAcE

-Gaara Loves Ramen


	4. Still Even More Naruto Blond Jokes!

**Naruto Blond Jokes 4**

**By Mikomi**

- Ino and her father were walking down a street when her father said, ''Look, a dead bird.''

Ino looked up and said, ''Where?''

- Naruto the carpenter was fixing up some wooden window frames on a 50-story building. He was using an electric saw and accidentally cut one of his ears off. Sasuke was walking along the street below him so he called out, ''Hey, you on the street, can you see my ear down there?'' Sasuke picks up an ear saying, ''Is this it?'' ''No,'' was the reply from Naruto, ''mine had a pencil behind it.''

- Ino says to Sakura, ''Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt.''

Sakura says, ''Well maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup.''

- Ino wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice. He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days

"Eat anything and everything you want for the first two days of your diet. Then skip the third day."

So Ino went home and ate anything and everything she wanted for the first two days, then she skipped the third day.

The next day Ino went back to the doctor and he asked her, "How is your diet?"

Ino said, "Well, the first two days were easy but that third day was hard. Doing all that skipping made me really tired."

- Ino was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.

Sasuke, the cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"

Ino said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"

The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"

- Ino goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "Come again?" Ino blushes slightly and giggles, "Oh, no it's just mustard this time."

- ''Have you heard my knock-knock joke?'' asked Ino.

''No,'' said Sakura.

''Okay,'' said Ino, ''you start.''

- Ino walks down the street and sees a banana peel a hundred yards ahead, and she sighs.

"Here we go again."

- Ino is looking at a bulletin board and she sees a piece of paper that says, ''Ocean Cruise Only $5.''

She pulls the piece of paper off the wall and goes to the address listed on the back of paper. Ino walks into the building and hands the secretary the piece of paper. The secretary nods and asks if she had the five dollars. The blonde pulls five dollars out of her pocket and hands it to the secretary. The secretary looks over to a burly guy reading a newspaper. She nods to the him. He stands up and knocks the blonde unconscious.

When Ino wakes up she's tied to a log and is floating down river. She starts to think that this was a bad idea. When she sees one of her friends, Naruto tied to a log floating right next to her, he says, "So do you think they''re going to serve us some food on this trip?"

- Once Ino really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. Ino begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.

After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there Ino was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!''


	5. Ha Ha I found more jokes!

**Naruto Blond Jokes**

**By Mikomi Hatake**

Ha Ha I found more blond jokes.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto.

---Ino walked into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if the store carries extra-large condoms.

"Yes we do," he said. "Would you like to buy some?"

"No," Ino replied. "But do you mind if I wait around until someone does?"

---Naruto got in his car and notices his steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield were missing. He called the police and reported a theft.

When the police officer came, he looked at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Sir...you're sitting in the backseat..."

---Hinta, Sakura, and Ino are riding in an elevator. Hinta noticed a spot on the elevator wall and said, "That looks like a cum stain!"

Sakura leaned over and smelt the stain. "Smells like a cum stain too!"

Ino leaned over and licked the spot on the elevator wall, then said, "Yep, but it's nobody from this building."

---Naruto died his hair black and went to the doctor and said, "Everywhere I touch it hurts."

The doctor asked "What do you mean?" So she showed him what she meant. He touched his knee and said "Ouch!" Then he touched his chest and said, "Ouch!" Then his shoulder, "Ouch!"

The doctor looked at him and asked, "Your really blonde, aren''t you?"

He replies "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did you guess?"

The Doctor says, "Well your finger is broken."

---Naruto was at a gumball machine. He put a quarter in and kept getting a gumball out. Sasuuke asked if he could get a gumball. He said, "Shut up! Im WINNING!"

---Ino and Naruto meet in Heaven. "How did you die?", Naruto asked.

"Oh! I died in a freezer," Ino replied." So how did you die?"

"Well, I suspected my husband, Sasuke was having an affair, so one day when I came home early from work, I looked all over the house, trying to look for the other woman because I saw that my husband was naked. When I coming upstairs from searching the basement, I slipped and broke my neck. I never got to find that woman," replied Naruto.

Then Ino said, "If only you looked in the freezer, maybe we both might still have been alive!"

---Naruto and Sasuke are in a bar. As they order their drinks, they watch the 6 o' clock news. On the broadcast is a man about to jump from a building. Hours pass as they find themselves sitting in the same seats at the bar watching the 10 o' clock news.

Sasuke says to the blonde boy, "I bet you $20 that the man jumps." Thinking for a moment, Naruto takes the bet. Sure enough the man jumps.

As Naruto reached into his pocket to pay the bet, he said, "My God, I just saw that same man on the 6 o'clock news, I didn't think he would jump again."

---Ino was cooking dinner, when her kitchen caught on fire. So she called 911 and said, "My kitchen is on fire!"

They asked, "How do we get there?"

Ino said, "Well, DUH, the big red truck!"

---A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway.

He started chasing after the speeder . When he got close he's saw it was Ino who was actually knitting while driving.

The cop yelled, "Pull over!"

Ino shouted back, "No! It's a sweater!"

---Naruto walked into the barbershop while wearing a head set wearing a headset and says he wants his hair dyed brown.

The barber asks him to take off the headphones. The blonde boy refuses, but the barber dyes it anyway.

Naruto fell asleep so the barber takes the headphones off and continued dying his hair.

Two minutes later he is shocked to find the blonde is dead. The barber puts on the headphones and there's a voice repeating, "Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out."


End file.
